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I hate you (iOS) Review

Squashing creepy clowns, splatting squirmy cockroaches, crushing sleazy bosses… That’s what you’re basically getting into with the iOS app called: I hate you.

I didn’t think there would be much to enjoy with something titled, “I hate you.” The title alone drives me insane (why isn’t it “I Hate You?”), but I’m glad that I chewed through it, swallowed, and played a decently entertaining game. The startup screen song

"I hate you"
“I hate you Gameplay on the iPhone6s”

runs on a loop, but it’s pretty catchy and helps set the tone for a Twisted Metal-style game… sans the multiplayer option, sans the storyline, and sans the brutality.

The game is simple. You use your thumbs to control left or right steering with the ability to use brakes that spin you in either direction. You cannot control your speed nor anything else. There are a handful of courses to run around: and when I say “run around” I literally and figuratively mean run around. It’s just a big circle. The goal is to mow down your worst phobia. The more you slaughter, the more in-game currency you can obtain in order to purchase better vehicles, more power-ups, and different enemies.

We’re limited in what we can do and see as far as games go on an iOS device (in my case, the iPhone 6s), but “I hate you” pumps out decent graphics. I’m fairly impressed with how smooth the game is while making sharp turns with several power ups mowing down awkward clowns.  The blood splatter mechanic is rather fun, but, like everything in this game, is repetitive and loses its level of interest far too quickly.

There are nifty power ups that make slaying things you hate a little more fun. From magnets that pull your enemies closer to a gun that blows up enemies from a distance, this mechanic adds a little more flavor to an otherwise repetitive game.

Overall, “I hate you” gets 3 out of 5 Gnomes. It’s not the greatest game out there, but it’s certainly not the worst. It’s an okay app if you need something to do before bed. Unfortunately, the game lacks content to make this a worthwhile download. Gamers are better off hoping for a Twisted Metal 1 or 2 release on portable devices.

Hate is a Strong Word

Overlay - Easy to navigate - 80%
Graphics - Better than expected - 80%
Controls - A bit wonky - 60%
Content - Not much to unlock - 50%
Replayability - Gets old fast - 30%


Lackluster Game

While I don't -hate- the game, this Gnome recommends saving the space on your iPhone for something else.

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About Gnomedic

Gnome (Joey) is a paramedic, gamer, and geek extraordinaire. Currently, he attends Arizona State University in pursuit of a BS in Technical Communications with a minor in Media Analysis. When he's not being a real-life healer, he plays one in various games like Overwatch, World of Warcraft, Dungeons & Dragons, and more!

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