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Brutal Debate: Cosplay & Penis Physics

We are many things at Brutal Gamer, but we are all gamers first. One of our most cherished pastimes is the brutal debates amongst the team on all things gaming. Our opinions vary as much as our ages and backgrounds, and that’s makes for a smashingly fun (if not usually kid friendly) argument. This week’s rant? An increasingly suggestive debate rising from a seemingly innocent question about cosplay. Enjoy (and don’t forget to weigh in in the comments below).

Mike D:  I’m doing an article about sexuality and cosplaying. My plan is to interview two different female cosplayers. Any questions you think I ought to cover?

Amy:  Ask them what they think about the disparity between male/female costumes in both cosplay and gaming. After all, there’d be a lot less to complain about if the guys were scantily clad as well. *cue up Amy’s perpetual rant music* WHY CAN I PLAY A GAME AS A MALE CHARACTER AND HAVE TONS OF INDESTRUCTIBLE STEEL ARMOR COVERING EVERY INCH OF MY BODY, YET WHEN I PLAY AS A FEMALE, I GET THE WARRIOR EQUIVALENT OF PASTIES AND A THONG?

Dan:  Because women are powerful enough to be sexy AND badass. Men can only handle one of those at a time. Except me.

Jeff:  Case closed.

Amy:  Oh, yeah! It is soooooo sexy *and* powerful to take an arrow to the spleen cause your armor only covers your nipples.  *case….still open*  😉

Leigh:  Booth babes and (hot girls) in cosplay makes everything better. It makes the world a better place.

Jeff:  Amy, that’s how women dressed back then. The games are trying to be realistic.

Troy:  My favorites are the winter outfits with the belly showing, maybe with a cute fur trim around it.  Meanwhile tank-like dudes are covered head to foot like a friggin’ bear!

Anthony:  Female characters don’t need armor since they don’t wield weapons. They should always be clerics or wizards or something like that. So if you took an arrow, why weren’t you using your protective spell? Huh???

Mike D.:  Anthony, how did you ever woo Amy? *facepalm*

Jeff:  How do you know she did not woo him? Huh? You are part of the problem. Men are all the same, I swear.

Hanna:  To hell with every one of you for holding this conversation when I can’t possibly defend or join.

Amy:  Aaahhhh….Hanna’s thong must be in the wash, and everyone knows girls can’t fight without their thong. It’s ok, Hanna! Anthony won’t be able to participate either after I kill him.

Hanna:  It’s the thong of empowerment! Stupid laundry.

Mike D.:  Thong of Empowerment: +2 Dexterity, +2% chance to crit

Robbie:  Actually all characters are idealized/sexualized. Look at the dudebros in Gears. Guys don’t look like that, unless they inject steroids 24/7 and never leave the gym. We play characters in games to escape life, and why play flawed humans when we can be space marines or busty hookers? Until games move away from this they’ll never have anything on novels because novels tend to have realistic characters with flaws.


Troy:  Good point, Robbie! It’s the same way with movies and television.  You want something nice to look at.

Mike D. :  Right, but let’s admit here ladies and gents, the problem is more prevalent in females than in males. They haven’t made a Dead or Alive game with penis physics yet, nor has WWE had a strip fight between The Rock and HHH.

Robbie:  All I can think of now is penile physics. I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY!

Justin:  The biggest problem in that line of thinking is that, generally speaking, men and women don’t think about their own bodies in the same way. This doesn’t apply to all people, but I think it would be fair to say that girls (especially young girls) are more inclined to see the “idealized/sexualized” female character and develop a negative feeling towards their own body. Men on the other hand generally have the opposite problem, IMO. In our own minds we look far better than we actually do, and on some level we already feel like we are the pumped up space marine.

Mike J.:  You mean…  I’m NOT a pumped up Space Marine?AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Zeth:  I’m late to the debate, but I’m hoping there was some kind of pic attached to this statement from Amy that I missed?  You know.. to put the argument in context….

Amy:  *sigh*  Come on Hanna….I’m drowning in testosterone here. Drop whatever you’re doing – we need more females in this argument. Zeth – Go ahead and argue the effectiveness of this outfit in fighting (and you’re welcome):

Leigh:  Easy to describe. Distraction.

Zeth:  You’re not totally correct, old friend.  I believe if you look closely, you’ll notice said “boob’idge” is putting incredible strain on the materials.  One good lean back and cough and she’ll unleash the clasp and material like a friggin bullet.. not to mention she could have someone’s eye out with the underlying products.

Dan:  Honestly? what the fu-. My brain just melted. Words….spell…what…..cannot. Huh?!?
You just broke me. Penis physics?!? WHY CANT YOU PEOPLE HAVE NORMAL CONVERSATIONS?!?!?

About Amy

U.S. Senior Editor/Deputy EIC at BrutalGamer, mother of 5, gamer, reader, wife to @MacAnthony, and all-around bad-ass (no, not really)

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