…after this, I imagine most people will not like me at all.
Im about to kick a classic game in the nuts, grab it by the back of the head and slam it’s face into my knee hard enough to break it’s nose and teeth. Let’s begin the review of Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time as it is downloaded for the Wii.
Ocarina of Time is the game which in Link’s tale actually begins, and as such, you play child-Link. He is summoned by the wise-old-tree in his town to “fulfill his destiny, leave the forest, and save the world from an as of yet unnamed evil.” This isn’t even really paraphrased either. You control Link as he enters the center of a tree and cures it of a curse to prove he is brave enough for the classic “world is doomed unless you defeat the evil in the world” generic quest. Go FORTH BRAVE HERO!!!!!
1) Attack timing: Seriously, it doesn’t sound like much, but it’s beyond annoying when you have to time your sword swings based, not on when you hit the button, but when you let go of it. There is a reason most games either DONT rely on charging your main attack button, OR let you attack first, THEN use a charge weapon.
2) Hit detection: This isn’t as much of an issue all the time, but when it rears it’s ugly head, watch out. Case in point, the last boss of the Forest Temple (where I am as I write this) has a boss in which you bounce a magic spell between you and the boss until one of you screws up and gets zapped (and of course it speeds up as you go). Between the timing issue above AND the fact that the ONLY time the game seems to register that you hit the spell is when you hit the spell while it’s still about a foot away from your sword, this boss is beyond insanely hard (and it might be futile if he just hits it back)… hell, if you are too close when he flings that spell, it’s just about impossible!
3) Lost Woods: What an AWESOME THING TO DO! Seriously, nothing is more pleasurable then a map where if you go the wrong way, you leave to your home town to start ALL OVER AGAIN. And THIS is the place the developers chose to connect EVER OTHER PLACE TOO! WHAT AN AMAZING IDEA! WOW! I WISH I HAD THOUGHT OF THAT!
4) Analog aiming: When you try to use your slingshot or your bow, you will realize why later games that aim this way offer aiming assists or autolocks. (And yes there is SOME locking in this game, but the phrases “glitchy” and “first try” come to mind.)
5) Item/Ocarina playing: Cant blame them entirely for this one. After all, judging by the space available to play with on the Wii and the design of the classic controller this game demands, you get the distinct feeling they NEVER meant to play N64 titles on here. HOWEVER, when they mapped the controller, they placed the arrow buttons on the right analog. Sounds great until you realize you are using it for precise 4-button presses, like 4 of the 5 or 6 notes on the ocarina or choosing between 3 equiped items and first person look. Not a big deal, but always annoying when you mean to shoot an arrow and instead snap to normal view holding a bomb over your head.
1) Perfect movement control: I normally would ignore a detail like this, however considering how bad I had issues with this when climbing in Twilight Princess, I could not this time. If nothing else, this game will NEVER piss you off by guiding Link in the wrong direction.
2) Inside the Fish: Seriously this is one of the the only 2 levels I could honestly say I didn’t see in Twilight Princess… and it was a pretty cool place, complete with an actually unique and cool boss at the end.
3) WOW moment: Maybe it’s because I played Twilight Princess but these were rare…. very rare… in fact I remember ONE. But that ONE was a real eye opener… when you first get out of the Temple of Time when you wake up.
Overall: Look, you are playing a Wii. You have Twilight Princess, which up to the halfway mark includes ALMOST EVERYTHING in Ocarina of Time, only improved and with better graphics. What is missing is almost always missing for a reason. Why the HELL are you even bothering with this game?
And before ANYONE screams at me, I understand Im talking about “the best game ever.” but trust me. Ocarina of Time seems to be battered by the very Time it’s title claims to have mastered. It is no longer worth yours.