Resident Evil 5 (PC) Review
I’m confused about this multi-platform trend. If a game is announced to be released on PS3, Xbox 360 and PC, then anyone with a functional cognitive center of the brain understands that there will be 3 versions of it, one for each platform. That’s the logical approach, but what I’ve come to realize after playing RE5 doesn’t resemble that in the slightest. What I’ve seen is Resident Evil 5 being “optimized” for PC simply by adding a Windows compatible executable to the game.
Let’s make it simpler: when you think PS3/Xbox 360, you think controller. When you think PC on the other hand, it’s mouse and keyboard. Obviously, what this means is that you can play the console versions with a controller and the PC version with the mouse and keyboard, right? Well, Capcom has apparently another opinion on this. Like Devil May Cry 3 and 4, Resident Evil 5 is a pain in the ass to play with something other than a controller, which is kinda weird since when I see the PC logo on the box I don’t think “Oh finally, a chance to buy a controller” but “Let’s install this and play the shit out of it!”. What I’m saying is yeah, it’s OK for a PC game to support gamepads, but that doesn’t mean I need a gamepad to play it right. Once you agreed to port the game on another platform, you must finish your job.
Let’s go back to the actual game now. Resident Evil 5 may be the fifth episode of the notorious zombie killing saga, but there are no significant changes to make you notice that. The gameplay mechanics are basically the same, the camera is the same, and the movement is the same. That wouldn’t be a bad thing if the same would be good, but in this case it’s crap. Although the camera movement was introduced, it brings more problems than it solves. On the PC version, you control the camera with the mouse. The thing is, on the default settings, it’s impossible to actually control it. If you try to move your mouse one inch to point your character at the zombie horde coming from your side, the camera flies and you turn 180 degrees. No biggie, we can just lower the sensitivity, that’s gonna solve it right? Well, if by lowering you mean making it so slow you have to spin your mouse twice to turn, then yes, it does. In the gameplay menu, you have the option to use the “mouse look” , which I did. It’s still annoying, badly implemented and the sensitivity is all wrong, but I find it more bearable than the default setting.
I could talk all day about the bad porting and horrible controls, but there’s more to Resident Evil 5. Not much, but some things are worth mentioning. The storyline isn’t one of these things, because frankly, I didn’t see much of it anyway. What I saw was Chris Redfield coming back joined by a hot brunette of a slightly different ethnicity, so you know, keep the things balanced and please everyone. Together, they march through Africa shooting at creatures and occasionally at barrels to kill more creatures at a time. These creatures are mostly humans, both white and black even though it’s fucking Africa and all because hey, we don’t want anyone to feel left out of the brain dead people eating zombie horde. From time to time, a different kind of enemies appear, like dogs, huge tentacles and chainsaw wielding monsters. And that’s kinda it when comes to the story.
I said I won’t talk about the bad things anymore, but I would have to finish this article right now to do that.
Another disturbing thing comes from the AI department. Ok, I know zombies aren’t capable of advanced reasoning, but by restraining the whole “zombie” universe down to this game, they are. Somewhere in the beginning, we see a horde of zombies gathered to witness the execution of a man, done by a huge executioner(with a huge axe, obviously). The zombies were excited, enraged and somewhat happy when the execution was done. This means they were able to feel certain emotions, not just the insatiable hunger for human brain.
But, coming out of the cut scene, you’re welcomed by a rather different type of zombies: the ones that run face first at your shotgun and try to get as many bullets as they possibly can before they hit the ground. No plans, no tactics. Technically, the headcrabs in Half Life had a better tactic, always going for your face instead of just jumping on your crowbar and trying to suck the life out of it.
Our companion, Sheva, is also useless. Let me tell you how it works in RE5. Say you have a pistol. While you’re shooting around at zombies and stuff, you run out of bullets. Typical. But don’t worry, apparently the Africans keep bullet packs all around their houses, so you won’t get in sticky situations because you don’t have ammo. Oh and also, bullets come out of decomposed zombie bodies… somehow. Anyway. But Sheva can run out of bullets too you know, like it would happen in real life if a guy and a chick were slaughtering a whole continent of zombies in their shorts. When you find a bullet pack, you have two options: a) get it for yourself or b) let her have them. Besides the fact that they’ve just added one more button to the “pick up item” routine, it’s pretty annoying. Fortunately, Sheva is able to pick up the bullets by herself, without your help. Unfortunately, she does that in the worst moments, or she doesn’t at all. If you leave her all by herself a few minutes, 3/4 of the time she’ll just stand there with no ammo and use the knife to cut the zombies. The rest of the time, she’ll run and take the bullets you were heading for and leave you without ammo. Also, she’s a terrible shooter.
I guess it would work out better if instead of the AI you would have a human partener in co-op, but I haven’t been able to try that because none of my friends are brave enough to reinstall it.
Finally, a good part. I really like the graphics in Resident Evil 5, as well as the special effects and all the other graphic stuff. Detailed, gloomy, realistic. Quite good for a second hand game nonetheless. The textures are incredibly well done, bringing the zombies to life so to speak. There, I said something good about it. It only spreads on 3 rows, but it’s much more than I had in mind.
In the end, a piece of advice: if you don’t have a gamepad, stay away from the PC version of this game. No one needs one more suicide, and I guess you don’t need another broken monitor either. If you do have a gamepad, go buy Resident Evil 4 and pretend it’s really hot in your room. This isn’t Resident Evil 5, it’s more like Resident Evil 4 – Journey to Africa. They didn’t bother to fix anything, they didn’t bring anything new, they just hoped that maybe we forgot. We didn’t.
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